In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize