I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize