You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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