We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
