the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
