you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
