i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
my poor anus
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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