I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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