Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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