i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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