Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
