She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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