last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Terrible idea I love it
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
