don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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