marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
