Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize