he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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