my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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