I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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