i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
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