i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
There's even glitter on my cock...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
