i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
