So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
