she looked like the before picture.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
