Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
