on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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