i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
