I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize