I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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