i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
