She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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