More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
