i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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