Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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