What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
