I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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