It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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