trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
