and she was petting her beer can
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
