Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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