goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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