Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
