she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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