cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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