I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
