i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
