Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
