I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ladies don't puke and tell
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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