I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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