I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Ladies don't puke and tell
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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