I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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