i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
