you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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