i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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