i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
