There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
