whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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