Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
