hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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