On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
