Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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