ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
