you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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