i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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