Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
